today i got the urges to shred some blood again ..
this urges came so rapidly that i can sense my body shivers in excitement.
until at one point i cant even concentrate wut was i doing.
it happened so quickly, so quickly that i keep on thinking of killing .. kill .. kill and kill.
but i cant, actually im scared to do that to others, im scared that im gonna get caught and sentense to heavy punishment.
the best i can do, is to force blood running onto my skin. the best and safest way. nobody can arrest me for injuring my own skin.
i dont kill .. but i want to.
one day i will do it. i know i will be satisfy after that.
i have to stop taking innocence animal life .. but nobody can argue with me if i accidentally killed a cat on a road.
i wish i could kill freely. now im still feeling it.
both my hands can stop shaking .. but once i see bit of blood, i calmed spontaneously.
im sick am i. who should i blame?
all those who'd hurt me?
i cant stop thinking of it. it appears inside my mind now and then.
i keep on looking at myself in the mirror with blood shed all over my body.
i incidentally keep a thought of how i can kill sumthin without even get notice.
i am sick as hell. was i supposed to be bornt with this evil chakra inside me?